Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal with Teasing, Conflict, and Other

Description: Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal with Teasing, Conflict, and Other Hard Times by Scott Cooper HELP YOUR CHILD STAND UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT WITHOUT GETTING CLOBBERED"Hey, Shorty, what's your problem?" "Everyone will think you're stupid if you don't come". "You wanna fight me on that?" Every parent knows the truth: Sticks and stones certainly hurt, and so can names and words. Unfortunately, criticism, teasing, ridicule, coercion, and conflict are an inevitable part of every child's life. This unique book will help you give your children the verbal tools to counter the hurtful words others tell them — and that they tell themselves. Each chapter, based on the characteristics of a particular bird, uses a wealth of examples, sample scripts, and imaginative, easy-to-follow exercises to give kids the confidence to speak up for themselves more assertively, yet gently and effectively. Help your child learn how to:— resist peer pressure (the Way of the Blue Jay)— accept blame (the Way of the Crow)— shut down bullies (the Way of the Hummingbird)— resolve conflicts (the Way of the Dove)— overcome shyness (the Way of the Blackbird)— talk back to self-defeating thoughts (the Way of the Owl)— live more mindfully (the Way of the Hawk) FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description Sticks and Stones helps parents teach kids how to speak up for themselves more assertively, gently, and effectively. Each chapter, based on the characteristics of a particular bird, uses a wealth of examples and imaginative exercises to give kids the confidence to speak truth to power. This unique guide, beautifully illustrated with line drawings of each bird and informed by the authors gentle humor, will help kids be effective communicators and includes easy-to-follow exercises and sample scripts. Examples include: Shut down bullies (The Way of the Blue Jay)Overcome shyness (The Way of the Black Bird) Counter peer pressure (The Way of the Hummingbird)Resolve fights (The Way of the Dove)Accept blame (The Way of the Crow)And more Author Biography Scott W. Cooper is President of the Hiebing Group and has worked on accounts such as Coors, Famous Footwear, American Automobile Association (AAA), and Fort Howard Paper. Prior to his current position, Scott had experience in both the client and agency side of the business. He currently teaches marketing communications in the School of Business at the University of Wisconsin. Review "A practical guide to help children be emotionally intelligent when their playmates are not."--Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence "A wonderful, fresh new addition to the field of parent education. Creative, insightful, respectful, and practical in his approach, Scott Cooper creates colorful images that make the steps to effective communication easy to remember and follow."--Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of Raising Your Spirited Child "Scott Cooper gives parents ample doses of practical, easy-to-follow recipes to help children cope with relationship crises and change negative self-talk. I highly recommend his common-sense approaches to fostering a sense of well-being and strength of character."--Barbara C. Unell, author of Discipline Without Spanking or Shouting Review Quote "A practical guide to help children be emotionally intelligent when their playmates are not." --Daniel Goleman, author ofEmotional Intelligence "A wonderful, fresh new addition to the field of parent education. Excerpt from Book A Verbal Toolbox Within the same moment I could feel my heart sink and my anger surge. Here was my seven-year-old son, his shoulders shaking and his big, brown eyes welling with tears, and he was looking up at me for help. My easygoing, "perfect" son had just been picked on by a belligerent bully, and I wasnt going to stand for it. Somebody would have to pay. Fortunately, as I marched out the front door, I became aware of what was happening inside me and I calmed down. Actually, the belligerent bully didnt look very belligerent at all. In fact, he looked a lot like my neighbors "perfect" son. I dealt with the situation without losing it and found out that my son hadnt been quite so perfect in this case. As it turned out, my sons feelings had spilled over and he had responded to his teasing neighbor friend with hitting and pushing -- all natural little boy reactions. But the experience made me realize that I hadnt prepared my son to deal with these kinds of situations. For that matter, I hadnt taught him how to deal with hardly any kind of difficult social situation. I began to realize in that moment that all of us carry around an internal toolbox. In that toolbox are all the tools we own for dealing with every sort of situation, confrontation, and human contact. If all I find in my toolbox when you threaten me is a hammer, Ill pound you with it. But if I also carry around lighter, more subtle tools, Ill have them available to try first. Kids need such tools, not just to deal with other kids but for the even bigger dilemma of dealing with adults -- how do you tell an unkind or unfair adult to cut it out? I decided that my son needed more than a hammer. Besides being his father, I had the background to give him something more. I had been blessed with a father who cared authentically about young people and dedicated his life to training them. As a high school agriculture teacher in the heart of the Napa Valley, he had taken many students (less academically inclined in some cases) and helped them hone their practical skills through on-the-job projects. Some of these young men would go on to become highly regarded practitioners in the wine industry. Maybe because of my fathers influence, I had spent a lot of my own adult life interested and involved in youth development efforts. Initially I had been a bilingual aide, teacher, and coach. After I obtained an MBA and entered the business world, I maintained a strong connection with youth development by coaching and participating on school and drug prevention boards. Through the years I had researched and developed a few of my own tools to help kids in the areas of self-esteem, assertiveness, and conflict resolution -- all areas that related to the tools I wanted my son to have. I had experimented in teaching these principles to teenagers and had a sense of what worked and what didnt. Additionally, the business world had increased my awareness (if not enjoyment) of real-world confrontation and negotiation and the strategies for dealing with tough social situations. Kids also need the skills to deal with us, their own parents, especially when, too distracted by the daily hustle and bustle, we forget to be kind and reasonable. Failing in my search for a good one-stop resource that I could use to teach my son the tools I wanted him to have, I began to pull together my own past research and experience, and the experience of my wife, Julie, in a form that I could use to teach our three children. After trial and error, I arrived at a way of giving our children a set of useful verbal tools that could help them deal with a wide range of difficult social situations. My hope is that you wont have to go through the same long process to find these helpful tools. As parents we know that the childhood saying about sticks and stones isnt always true. Sticks and stones certainly hurt and so can names and words. The main point of Sticks and Stones is to give your children the verbal tools to counter the hurtful words others tell them and that they tell themselves. My own children have used some of the approaches in this book to deal with criticism, teasing, ridicule, coercion, and conflict. These skills are a kind of verbal judo -- a term that has been used by others, most prominently George Thompson, to refer to verbal techniques that can help us deal with difficult social situations. Of all the schools of martial arts, judo is perhaps the most assertive without being overtly aggressive. The techniques of judo are relatively gentle in the sense that they are directed toward deflecting or controlling an attack. Students dont attempt to strike with punches, kicks, or other offensive moves but rather apply throwing and grappling moves in order to use an attackers force to their own advantage. Similarly, verbal judo isnt meant to be used to lash out and attack others aggressively but rather to respond assertively to their verbal blows. One of the strengths of martial arts training is that students learn very clear and specific techniques. With one little step at a time, they develop a repertoire of moves that they can ultimately use in any combination they need. My techniques work the same way. By practicing and mastering them one step at a time, your children can become better equipped to deal with difficult social situations as they arise in everyday living. Kids have always faced these tough situations. But with the current pattern of family and work life, parents frequently arent around to provide support (its been estimated that as of 1986, parents had ten to twelve hours less time each week to spend with their children than in 1960). Children need to have skills to fend for themselves when were not there. They also need the skills to deal with us, their own parents, especially when, too distracted by the daily hustle and bustle, we forget to be kind and reasonable. Details ISBN0812932404 Author Scott Cooper Short Title STICKS & STONES Pages 208 Language English ISBN-10 0812932404 ISBN-13 9780812932409 Media Book Format Paperback DEWEY 649.1 Illustrations Yes Year 2000 Publication Date 2000-02-28 Imprint Times Books Place of Publication Westminster Country of Publication United States Edition 1st Residence Newton Publisher Harmony Subtitle 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal With Teasing DOI 10.1604/9780812932409 Audience General/Trade UK Release Date 2000-02-29 We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:159907387;

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